Lost

A friend of mine (in order to protect his identity, I’ll just make up a name for him: Johnny) lost his wedding ring last night. He wrote a note with his name and number and a description of the ring in case someone at the bar found it. The only problem is, he couldn’t remember what was inscribed on the inside of the ring. It was his wedding date and he couldn’t remember it.

As he was calling his wife to tell her a) that he lost his wedding ring and b) could she remind him what their wedding anniversary was, I couldn’t help but think about how dead I would be if that was me.

Needless to say, as he was calling her, Johnny was very flustered about the whole thing. His wife, instead of being mad at him, just asked why he was so flustered. She said, “are your friends making fun of you too hard?”

I’m pretty sure Johnny will find his ring. It will probably be on top of his dresser at home.

From my cursory glance, this

From my cursory glance, this musician’s royalty calculator seems to be about right on. Good job, moses.

Calculate how screwed your band is.

Looking at this reminds me of when a band I was in got signed to a small label. And then I think about this silly band that our label signed right after us. I remember thinking they really sucked. They were called Limp Bizkit. And now I reflect on the fact that the silly trust-fund kid who owned the label is now the president of Interscope thanks to his “brilliance” in signing Limp Bizkit. The music industry is a weirdo business.

This guy is insane

This guy is insane. This article makes me alternately amused and pissed off.

Staff cry poetic injustice as singing Ashcroft introduces patriot games

Read it and learn about Ashcroft’s sing-alongs in office meetings, fear of tabby cats (he apparently thinks they are signs of the devil), ritual of being anointed with vegetable oil each time he is sworn into political office and other amusing and alarming habits.

And don’t forget about when he had statues draped in velvet to cover their naked bodies.

What a scary, powerful man.