Party of Five

Kottke’s got a post about the quirky NYC restaurant, Shopsin’s, that’s worth a look. Sounds like a fun place to go next time I find myself in New York City.

The funniest thing about their extensive menu other than its sheer exhaustiveness has to be this poem regarding their policy of no more than 4 people per party:

PARTY OF FIVE by Robert Hershon
you could put a chair at the end
or push the tables together
but dont bother
This banged-up little restaurant
where you would expect no rules at all
has a firm policy against seating
parties of five
And you know you are
a party of five
It doesn’t matter if one of you
offers to leave or if
you say you could split into
a party of three and a party of two
or if the five of you come back tomorrow
in Richard Nixon masks and try to pretend
that you don’t know each other
It won’t work: You’re a party of five
even if you’re a beloved regular
Even if the place is empty
Even if you bring logic to bear
Even if you’re a tackle for the Chicago Bears
it won’t work
You’re a party of five
You will always be a party of five
A hundred blocks from here
a hundred years from now
you will still be a party of five
and you will never savor the soup
or compare the coffee or
hear the wisdom of the cook
and the wit of the waitress or
get to hum the old -time tunes
among which you will find
no quintets

Hilarious.

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