Those of you who know me in non binary form, are probably aware that this year has been a pretty hard one for ol’ Tim. The wife and I have had to endure some pretty crappy things, prompting us to half-jokingly believe that the earth entered some weird parallel universe after W was re-elected last year. Would you care to see a list?
- We’ve both had some scary physical inuries that required way too many visits to the emergency room.
- Our new house has some major issues that were not fully disclosed to us by the previous owners.
- Our new house has some major issues that were fully disclosed to us, but still suck (we still love our house, though, it rocks.).
- Speaking of our new house, the main water line to said house burst back in February, costing us around $3,000 in repairs.
- My iPod was stolen from my car in my driveway by some punk who broke my car window to get it.
- Remember the emergency rooms mentioned earlier? Well, one of them (Atlanta Medical Center), tried to charge us $100 because my wife walked in with a bleeding finger, was told that there would be a long wait and decided to find treatment elsewhere. I ended up getting us out of paying, but not before I had to jump through all kinds of red tape and “let me talk to your supervisor” type stuff for months. Their incompetence was truly awe inspiring.
- Some stupid/lame h4x0rs gained access to the web server that hosts themuy and a buttload of my freelance sites, causing a bunch of administrative hassle for me and my partner.
- My wife has had a lot of dental work done this year and, guess what, our dental insurance SUCKS.
- My 14 year old second cousin died in a freak accident.
- My aunt died suddenly a week and one day after my cousin (causing my first cousin to lose her son and mom in 8 days time and me to lose my favorite aunt).
- Much to my chagrin, George Bush is still president.
- There are more to list, but from here on down the individual items aren’t that bad, they just form a critical mass of suckiness.
It is in trying times like these that you have to look outside of yourself and surrender to a higher power. Man was just not equipped to handle everything this world can throw at him. So, after searching for all of these years, I think I have found a god I can believe in. One who will carry me when I am weak and walk (or float) beside me when I’m strong.
I am officially announcing my conversion to Pastafarianism. Bobby Henderson has shown me the way. He is the prophet and Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only true god.
And to that, I say, Ramen.
2 thoughts on “Praise Him”
i’ve seen the flying spaghetti monster stuff and have alrealy converted. it makes, almost, too much sense.
those that choose to ignore their new god will definitely burn in hell… forever. and when i say forever, i mean eternity…. which lasts a really long time…
so, they’re gonna suffer for a really long time, like… longer than anyone can imagine…. eternity lasts forever.
it’s like the universe only there are two sides.. those that bow down the the spaghetti monster and those that don’t. and the side that doesn’t suffers… big time mf.
I’ll have mine with Marinara please.
and some sausage. pass the parmisan
Check out this shit: We named our dog Charlie Ravioli before I had even heard of FSM. If that doesn’t make you believe, I don’t know what will.