Praise Him

Those of you who know me in non binary form, are probably aware that this year has been a pretty hard one for ol’ Tim. The wife and I have had to endure some pretty crappy things, prompting us to half-jokingly believe that the earth entered some weird parallel universe after W was re-elected last year. Would you care to see a list?

• We’ve both had some scary physical inuries that required way too many visits to the emergency room.
• Our new house has some major issues that were not fully disclosed to us by the previous owners.
• Our new house has some major issues that were fully disclosed to us, but still suck (we still love our house, though, it rocks.).
• Speaking of our new house, the main water line to said house burst back in February, costing us around $3,000 in repairs.
• My iPod was stolen from my car in my driveway by some punk who broke my car window to get it.
• Remember the emergency rooms mentioned earlier? Well, one of them (Atlanta Medical Center), tried to charge us $100 because my wife walked in with a bleeding finger, was told that there would be a long wait and decided to find treatment elsewhere. I ended up getting us out of paying, but not before I had to jump through all kinds of red tape and “let me talk to your supervisor” type stuff for months. Their incompetence was truly awe inspiring.
• Some stupid/lame h4x0rs gained access to the web server that hosts themuy and a buttload of my freelance sites, causing a bunch of administrative hassle for me and my partner.
• My wife has had a lot of dental work done this year and, guess what, our dental insurance SUCKS.
• My 14 year old second cousin died in a freak accident.
• My aunt died suddenly a week and one day after my cousin (causing my first cousin to lose her son and mom in 8 days time and me to lose my favorite aunt).
• Much to my chagrin, George Bush is still president.
• There are more to list, but from here on down the individual items aren’t that bad, they just form a critical mass of suckiness.

It is in trying times like these that you have to look outside of yourself and surrender to a higher power. Man was just not equipped to handle everything this world can throw at him. So, after searching for all of these years, I think I have found a god I can believe in. One who will carry me when I am weak and walk (or float) beside me when I’m strong.

I am officially announcing my conversion to Pastafarianism. Bobby Henderson has shown me the way. He is the prophet and Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only true god.

And to that, I say, Ramen.